Marriage Simplified

I discovered this article on About.com last year. I thought I would revisit this list for today's Family Friday post. It's really good! If you or your spouse are clueless about how to meet the needs of each other, stop trying to figure it out on your own and check out these top 10 lists of what wives want from husbands and what husbands want from wives.

WHAT WIVES WANT FROM THEIR HUSBANDS:

• Telling her daily that she is loved. It's not just about saying "I love you" -- it's holding hands or an unexpected hug.
• Understanding and forgiveness. Remember that no relationship can be sustained without forgiveness. She'll have her bad moments and days that she's difficult to be around. She wants and deserves your understanding and forgiveness.
• Conversation. Don't let your conversations with your wife dwindle down to only talking about you kids, jobs, and the weather.
• Willingness to make time for her and your children. You have to make this happen by not only planning time together but following through with it. Time with those you love has to be a high priority.
• Saying "yes" more than saying "no". Habitual negative responses to your wife and kids can push them away from you.
• Listening well. It's disheartening for a wife to share her thoughts and then realize her spouse has not been listening at all. Listen not only with your ears, but also with your heart.
• Affection and kindness. How often do you say "please" or "thank you" or offer an unexpected kiss? Being kind and affectionate are keys to a successful marriage.
• Sharing household and child rearing responsibilities. Chores and child care are not the sole responsibility of your wife. She shouldn't have to ask you to do your share around the house.
• A day off now and then. Don't fret about your wife taking a day off several times a month. This is necessary for herself to be emotionally and physically healthy.
• Commitment to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. Many men are notorious for not taking care of themselves when it comes to health issues. This isn't fair to your wife. She is your wife -- not your mother. Take responsibility for your health.

WHAT HUSBANDS WANT FROM THEIR WIVES:

• Believe in his capabilities. Many men believe it's important for them to protect and provide for those they love. Let him know you are supportive of him.
• Understanding. Daily dialogue only takes 20 minutes of your day. Isn't your husband worth 20 minutes of your time?
• Affirmation of his accomplishments. Most guys like to be patted on the back. Compliment your husband often. Just don't overdo it with sticky sweet oozes of how great he is.
• Acceptance. Many husbands are hurt and angered when their wives try to change them. Realize that the only person you can change is yourself.
• Less chatter. If you husband is tired or involved in a project, and you really want to talk to him about something, get to the point. If he wants the details, he'll ask for them.
• Affection. Hold your husband's hand in public, leave a loving voice mail, massage his shoulders, give him an unexpected kiss. Men like this too! It's a win win.
• Respect. Show respect for your husband by not making negative comments about his thoughts and opinions, by being considerate of his plans, and by avoiding the "eye roll" when listening to him.
• Free time. Most everyone has a desire for quiet time alone. Time to re-energize, regroup, and reconnect. When he first gets home from work, allow him some time to unwind. Don't over schedule his days off with projects around the house.
• Trust. Trust is vital in the success of a marriage. If you have trouble trusting your husband, seek counseling - not spying.
• To be a companion. Hopefully you can say that your husband is not just your lover, but your friend. Staying friends and companions through the years requires that you find time to do things together.